What It Really Means to “Hold Space” for Yourself

As I've journeyed through the ebbs and flows of my own life, the concept of "holding space" has emerged as a pivotal part of how I've learned to navigate the waves. But let me tell you, it wasn't always in my repertoire. The need to hold space is a realization that's grown with me, tangling its roots with moments of hardship, joy, confusion, and everything in between.

It's like having a chat with a wiser, calmer version of yourself over a cup of tea, while the chaos of life swirls around you. So, let's dive in and uncover what it truly means to hold space for yourself—and why it's so vital.

1. Understanding the Essence of Holding Space

What Does "Holding Space" Really Mean?

In the simplest terms, to hold space for yourself is to offer yourself the same compassion and patience you would extend to a friend in need. It's about creating a psychological and emotional environment where you can safely explore your thoughts, emotions, and experiences without judgment. Imagine it as a sanctuary, a place where you’re free to just be—to express, to feel, and to grow.

I began to grasp this concept during a particularly turbulent time in my life. My world felt like it was spinning out of control, and I was grasping for a lifeline. Holding space became that lifeline—a gentle reminder that I could slow down and nurture myself amidst the storm.

2. The Importance of Self-Awareness

How Self-Awareness Enhances the Act of Holding Space

Self-awareness is akin to having a friendly GPS in your mind, guiding you through the intricate pathways of your emotions and behaviors. It’s a crucial component of holding space for yourself because it allows you to recognize what you truly need in the moment.

In my own journey, developing self-awareness was like turning on a light in a dimly lit room. Suddenly, what was once murky became clearer, and I could begin to understand why I reacted the way I did or felt certain emotions. It was through this process that I realized holding space wasn’t about fixing anything—it was about truly seeing myself, in all my imperfect glory.

3. Practical Steps to Hold Space

How to Begin Holding Space for Yourself

Alright, so you’re convinced—holding space sounds wonderful, but where do you start? Here are some practical steps that helped me on my journey:

• Create a Routine: Set aside a specific time each day to check in with yourself. Whether it’s during your morning coffee or before bed, consistency is key. It’s like creating a standing appointment with yourself—a commitment to your own wellbeing.

• Mindful Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can be incredibly freeing. Think of it as a brain dump, where nothing is off-limits, and all emotions are valid. With time, these pages become a testament to your growth and a place where you can safely explore your inner world.

• Meditation and Breathwork: This isn’t about silencing your mind; it’s about allowing it to settle and be present. There’s a calm strength in focus and breath, a way to ground yourself in the now. For me, a few deep breaths with eyes closed often feel like hitting a reset button on my day.

4. Overcoming Common Challenges

What Hurdles Might You Face, and How Can You Overcome Them?

Holding space isn’t always comfortable—in fact, it can be downright challenging. Here are a few hurdles I encountered and tips on how to tackle them:

• Judgment and Self-Criticism: We’re often our harshest critics. It’s vital to recognize these thoughts without letting them control you. Whenever these critical voices echoed in my mind, I’d ask myself, “Would I speak to a friend this way?” The answer always encouraged a softer approach.

• Impatience: Growth isn’t linear, and neither is holding space. Patience is paramount. Some days, it’ll be easier to slip into this space; other days, it’ll feel like paddling upstream. Both are okay.

• Finding Time: Our days are packed, and carving out time for self-care feels impossible. But trust me, prioritizing even just ten minutes can make a world of difference. It’s all about recognizing its value and making it non-negotiable.

5. The Profound Benefits of Holding Space

How Does Holding Space Transform Your Life?

When you commit to holding space for yourself, the shifts, though initially subtle, are profound and lasting. Here’s how it transformed my life:

• Emotional Resilience: I discovered a new-found ability to face challenges without being overwhelmed. It’s akin to developing emotional calluses—not in a way that dulls sensitivity, but rather strengthens your ability to stand firm during emotional turmoil.

• Enhanced Relationships: Surprisingly, as I became more adept at holding space for myself, my relationships with others improved. By understanding myself better, I could offer the same compassion and empathy to others, creating richer, deeper connections.

• Personal Growth: Perhaps the most significant change was in my personal development. It allowed me to pursue interests, goals, and passions I hadn’t before. Holding space opened the door to the person I was meant to become—not perfect, but perfectly evolving.

6. Cultivating a Community of Space Holders

How to Encourage Holding Space in Your Community?

The beauty of holding space is contagious. As you experience its benefits, you’ll naturally want to share it with others. Here’s how you can foster a community that embraces this practice:

• Lead by Example: Demonstrate the transformation in your own life and invite others to partake in the experience. Often, those around us learn best by watching our actions rather than our words.

• Open Conversations: Encourage dialogues about mental and emotional wellbeing. Normalizing these conversations reduces stigma and allows others to feel safe in exploring their own needs.

• Create Safe Spaces: Whether in a physical group or an online community, people are more inclined to explore vulnerability in environments that are non-judgmental and supportive.

Truth Nuggets!

1. Embrace the Silence: It's okay to be alone with your thoughts, even if they make you uncomfortable. Sometimes, silence speaks volumes about what you truly need.

2. Progress Over Perfection: Remember, growth is not measured by the absence of failure but by the courage to continue trying.

3. Celebrate Small Wins: Every time you successfully hold space for yourself, no matter how small the effort, acknowledge it. Small wins build momentum for bigger changes.

4. Boundaries Are Your Friend: Don’t be afraid to set boundaries that protect your wellbeing. After all, honoring yourself means drawing lines where necessary.

5. Be Patient with Your Journey: On days when holding space feels impossible, know that this too is part of the process. Kindness toward yourself creates a fertile ground for growth.

6. Share the Journey: If comfortable, share your experiences with loved ones. Encouraging conversations can lead to collective growth and understanding.

In life's grand tapestry, holding space for myself has allowed me to weave in the colors of authenticity and resilience. It’s an invitation to heal, explore, and expand. So, as you contemplate what holding space means for you, remember—every journey starts with a single step, and I’m with you every step of the way.